we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
