I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
