girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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