there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
