p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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