I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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