This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
