I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
