whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
