he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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