it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it because I queefed?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
