Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
