brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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