did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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