i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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