Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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