Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
