Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
