honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
