what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize