Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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