Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
