Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
