The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
