i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
