She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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