Midget sex pt 2 tonight
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
