She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
