I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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