So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
