I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
