so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
