i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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