I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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