My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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