Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
