i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
