See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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