I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
