The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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