how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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