i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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