The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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