so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
