i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
