Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
