Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
