The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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