wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i think i have two assholes
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
