found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We need a shit load of segways right now
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Come on in and take your pants off
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