Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
