More tranny stories later!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
