I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
