hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
