Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I didn't notice because vodka
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
