Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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