i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
