yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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