i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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