she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I did not marry a roomba.
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