drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
