let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize