I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
